I was raised by a single mother in a bit of a feminist family. I grew up believing abortion was a choice I deserved and then men were a liability I didn’t need. As a college student, I really didn’t like children at all. Though I believed in God and has said a prayer to “accept him into my heart” as a 12-year-old girl, I had no idea who Jesus Christ was or how He called me to live! This led to years of what we all like to call “building my testimony”. But finally one day in my early 20’s the Lord gave me a new heart and healed all my brokenness and I’ve never looked back. I dove deep into His Word and quickly learned the servanthood of being on leadership teams. He changed my mind about EVERYTHING! I began to see the value in life and people and His different roles for men and women in marriage. About 5 years later, I found myself a wife and mother being told to enjoy my season of motherhood and leave the “serving” at church to others. I felt bereft and confused and tossed unwillingly into a dark nursing mom's room where I no longer had friends or fellowship. Eventually, after much study, the Lord unequivocally called me back to church ministry. I was overjoyed and have been serving in leadership with our moms group and biblical counseling training ministries now for a couple of years.
I had 8 children in 12 calendar years. I spent 12 years of life pregnant, nursing or both at the same time. When I became pregnant with baby number 9 my husband decided we were done with our season of babies. We were so excited to have one last baby and then move on to a different season of parenting. At 20 weeks pregnant, I birthed a sweet baby boy with no heartbeat and my heart forever changed. Today I work out my faith with fear and trembling, learning to daily take captive my thoughts and pursue joy and thankfulness even with a broken heart. I look forward to heaven when I will see my Jesus and my sweet baby Rueben. Walking daily with the knowledge the Lord has work I can do while I’m here to serve His body and tell others about His powerful grace that leads to salvation keeps me going. We live in the constant tension of finding purpose here on earth while we long for eternity in heaven. That is where I am and where my story is still being written.